sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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