Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
