When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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