Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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