Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
