Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
cat food counts as protein by the way
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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