1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
