Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think my mom watched the whole time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
there is glitter all over my balls
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
