Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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