i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
