hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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