im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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