Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
