hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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