We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
