Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
