you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
