How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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