To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
