we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
