I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
