So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
