You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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