He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
