6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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