I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
