I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
