return my video game
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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