This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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