so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Randomize
