Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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