If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
