white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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