idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
