sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
