I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This baby is an asshole
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
