So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
