did you get engaged???
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
