At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
