This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
