I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
