Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
