I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
