He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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