Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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