Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
