You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
