we're blogging at a bar
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
