I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
