i just wanna soil my oats bro
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
