Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
