is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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