Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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