i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
