Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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