About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
