I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize