I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
