He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize