God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
