Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize