Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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