Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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