Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
