Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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